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Recently, I decided to minimize some of my social media accounts. One of the worst offenders was YouTube as I had 5 different accounts, one is the one I had as a teenager, another is one I had under my deadname of which I intended to become a filmmaker with, another was just "Shadow Bliss" films. The other two were honestly just wastes of space. So I took 3 away and I'm now down to "teenager" and "now" but I also wanted to remove a lot of the content as I honestly don't REALLY like YouTube's business practices (I most use it for music videos and movie clips and...archive.org can do that!). As of now, the only video uploaded is this one
However, I have a second video I intend to upload to coinside with a certain American event in January...
I should note that I found that image on Tumblr and the song is "Oh Bo" by Bo Burnham. This video was originally intended to be a "content flagging" video. So if you want to forcefeed yourself a ban...here you go.
Now I also had the videos in the "My Cats" tab being on YouTube. I removed them because...it didn't fit in with the rest of it. However, the rest of my channel perfectly fits with the comedic "RANDUM!" of the prior two videos.
Now...I'm not going to upload all those videos here. This is because, for me, the videos I made, while cringey today (as if that's bothered me before!?), does give me nostalgia for the time I uploaded those videos, back when YouTube and internet culture on the whole didn't feel AS BAD as it does now. This is why I've never deleted the channel because, barring for the channel trailer, 10 year anniversary and a page on this website, I miss it. That said...I do have a couple videos I want to share here, one IS an unreleased video (I'll explain when I get to it as I feel like more than any other video here), the second is one of my more popular videos but with some history
I first saw American Mary when I was 16 and I did legitimately love the movie back then (I haven't seen it in a while). However, at the time I'd obsessively find "this movie? this song? put together? anyone else done that?" And honestly, the Soska sisters were a LOT more open to fan comments back then. I remember asking them about putting Seether over the movie and they LOVED the idea (I don't have evidence of that). However...what I DO have evidence of is...
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Honestly, that kind of appreciation from creator to fan (it's possible to say it was half hearted but that's still showing AN appreciation for their work) made a legitimately amazing impression on me.
Up next is the ONE video that I've made that has been successfully taken off YouTube multiple times. Now before I start, when I was 16 I learnt about Genie Wiley. An abused child that had been so deprived of love and knowledge that scientists had to teach her developmental psychology (how to process emotions and communicate). I was honestly moved by the story and...found a biopic about her called Mockingbird Don't Sing and "hey, Three Days Grace would go PERFECT over this!"
At the time I made that video, I saw it as the very best thing I had ever made. Honestly...for once my taste and the general public's aligned as that was my most popular video, raking in 58K views. However, the film's director Harry Bromley-Davenport took issue and got it a worldwide ban. At the time: "well alright, I don't want to piss people off" (I was VERY DIFFERENT back then!) however, that has changed because the movie itself IS on YouTube for free. While I do have issues with this video today (namely that the song choice AND the way I framed the idea of this real person was for her, it "wasn't too late" whereas information about this person after 1978 is scarce and by all accounts (sorry for bumming you out...and for spoilers but I don't see "you SPOILED A MOVIE?!" as being as important as a human life), she is still a ward of the state. I suppose this video was and, in a way still is, a form of hope that she's happy. That she's moved on from such intense trauma.
Yeah, this went from "stupid and silly with a dash of offense" to a real vulnerable ideal. For anyone, I think.