Transgender Information

WILL UPDATE WHEN POSSIBLE AND NECESSARY

I've finally decided to write more extensively into this part of the website again. To start with, I'm legitimately just tired as fuck of being scared of a target being put on my back for being who I am. That's how I've lived my entire life up until now.

So being Transgender. This is going to quickly go over a few things that I feel need to be known about being Trans. Before we start, if any of you need a history lesson, here you go, I know Wikipedia isn't SEEN as reliable but that's why that page ALSO has sources (I've also archived it. Get used to me saying that on this page). Now, I'm going to order this from "easiest" to "hardest" just to get things rolling

• Justify Myself
  This is for those moments of dysphoria and if you want justification. I'll start by saying that not a LOT of Cis people question their own gender because they have that confidence that "I AM a man" "I AM a woman." However if you need more than that and you ARE questioning that you might be something else or "I WAS trans but now I'm Cis"...its fine if that ends up being who and what you are. Exploration of that kind of stuff IS definitely needed and I'd suggest doing further and proper research into that but there's no shame in changing genders if you so wish (wannabe a Transfem or Transmasc instead of Non-Binary or visa versa? Fine) or having a moment of self doubt only to realize it was temporary.


• Clothes Shopping
  I thought I'd go from "hard" to "the fun stuff." To start with, these days there are MANY trans affirming clothing stores that you can buy from. I've put a couple on my linkpage so I'd suggest those. However for more everyday stuff if you can't afford professionally made clothing with labels...I'd like to remind you there's no ethical consumption under Capitalism so as much as buying clothing made by sweatshops in some South American firetrap might lose "Good Place points", it could help to get you a feel for the kind of clothing you want to wear. Thrifting can also help - both to find clothes for you AND if you manage to buy something that doesn't fit. This also goes for makeup - trial and error and don't be afraid to experiment in order to find your style. I've also seen people suggest using online shopping, I get that if the fear is too much but with everything listed, I WOULD suggest measuring yourself and comparing sizes JUST SO you know what you're dealing with.


• Support
  This is for those in unsafe backgrounds. My suggestion is that social media CAN help and if you want to lurk on said sites under a "#transgender", there's nothing wrong with that in order to find information but I'd ALSO suggest regular cleaning of browsing history. Now saying that on THIS site is a bit pointless as if you're here, you're probably either past that or made a major mistake. However if you're safe ENOUGH to have a personal browser and go undetected, try reaching out to other trans people. The whole point of THIS page is so I can help. I'm even using gender neutral language so as to appeal to as many people as possible. I'd also like to suggest going to a therapist who can help with these feelings. I went to mine and was with her for SEVEN YEARS talking about my gender stuff until I actually acted on it (I have...reasons for being afraid which is, again, another reason why I'm making this). I'd also look into gender clinics in the area, do a test on a GP to see how accepting they are of trans people (if you live in a country where you need a referral). Look into ways to meet people in real life that ARE accepting of this. There's a lot of options.


• Coming Out
  This one is a hard but important step. Especially if you DO have unsupportive people in your life. I'd start with people who you know will be supportive. People who like trans people. If you're unsure, I'd prod around and ask. If a celebrity you like is trans, talk to them about it. If a friend you have is trans, talk to them about it (by that I mean "talk to people who know your friend" AND "talk to your trans friend" - I mean if there's ONE PERSON who'd actually be supportive, 9 times out of 10, it'll be another trans person). If someone you follow on social media is trans, talk to them about it. Its a simple "prod" to see what they say. I get this might be seen as deception but if you ARE that scared, I'm suggesting this as a way to help. I'd repeat this until you find SOMEONE who reacts in a way that satisfactory (or if you have the luck of finding acceptance on the first go). Then you tell them. I'd also make a list of questions - what surgeries are you going to get? New name? Pronouns? Will you have kids? That kind of thing WILL be asked. While I'm here, it MIGHT also be worth looking into actual stats of Trans people so you can assure people "yes, this IS the right decision for me."
• *disclaimer of "Coming Out"
  I should point out that while it IS "a hard but important step", it's not necessary. I talk about this later but people CAN get violent about trans people existing (I mean, in an ideal world we'd just tell them to go fuck a car exhaust but...if we lived in an ideal world, this page wouldn't be necessary). If you have to stay in the closet for safety reasons, or even just need to go back in there for whatever reason, there's nothing wrong with prioritizing being alive over being "out." - I previously didn't think I needed to mention that but just in case you read this and wondered, that's my official stance. I also want to say another disclaimer ontop of this, being in the closet doesn't invalidate who you are. Think of it like a secret you carry - I like to be private to many people; Keep myself to myself and do my coding/art/socials stuff in as much privacy as possible. I'm still a coder, I still have accounts on those social medias and I create art. Just because I don't tell people doesn't mean those facts of "I code", "THESE are my social medias", "I make art" aren't true.


• Name Change
  This one is going to be a bit of a wild one as you're going to have to go through a LOT of legal red tape. I don't own a house and I had to change my health insurance, my car insurance, my medicare (yeah, I live in a country that actually CARES about the health of its citizens), the name on my taxes, the name on my payslip, the name on my driver's license, the name on my organ donor card, my bank details, my first suggestion is just make a list. Then look into the legality of what you'll need. For me, I needed 3 bits of Identification all copied and approved by a Justice Of The Peace (in my country they're in public libraries and free) and a filled in form sent in with a payment (mine was $200). I also want to throw out there that if you ARE trying to be stealth, there's nothing wrong with picking a gender neutral name.


• Clinic
  I talked previously about getting a referral to a gender clinic. This step can vary depending on where you live. If you're unsure, find one and call them up to ask (if unsafe, look up how to alter call logs on your mobile). At this point, if you need to rehearse a meeting, do it. I'd say its natural to feel like there's a weight in said meetings because you're going to be admitting to things that, if you're anything like me, are pretty private to a complete stranger. It DOES get easier, the more used to it you get but practice is something I'll never invalidate.


• Self Defense
  THIS ONE is one that, as of writing, just comes with the territory of being Trans. I know how this sounds but even in a world of acceptance, you're STILL going to get an asshole or two (like THIS WORLD is one of acceptance!). Even well meaning ones. The unfortunate thing about it, though, is the world is constantly adapting - bigots adapt with it (if they didn't, I'm FAIRLY SURE the KKK would've died out in the 60s - or 1910s if The Birth Of A Nation was never made - and Nazis, the 30s...I know what I said). THIS BOOK is actually a self defense guide that has "for Trans women" on the front but I have read it and believe that many of the tips and tricks listed are applicable to all gendered harrassment (even cis people so...fuck off TERFs). It's free to read AND download (Especially as I've also nabbed myself a copy). There is also THIS article by Florence Ashley that goes over some points better than I ever could (I've also archived this). Unfortunately, because of the afforementioned adaptability of bigotry and the fact this book, the article, and even this website is open for anyone to read means that each point here can and probably will have a counter attack from said bigots. So I honestly think it's also worth keeping a general ear to the ground with regard to how to deal with harrassment. That said there are SOME tips in this book that I know will NEVER change (crowds subconsciously siding against trans people but women in particular, not to escalate to aggression if you can help it because it's easy for the aggressor to make up that you were being the asshole, the particularly shit harrassment of non-white Trans people).


• Surgery
  I have NOT had surgery but I want to put this here in case you're questioning taking that step (which I GET the hesitancy for!). I'm going to share a website full of information on this subject and SOME I've previously mentioned. Trans Bucket (I have also archived this site - minus any photos because I felt like that was just TOO personal and I don't have permission as it is). I have no clear answer on this one, though, as it's very tailored to the individual and what they want out of transitioning and if you're considering this step...do everything I've mentioned previously THEN ask the question "would you be happier if-?" That is my best answer for that. If Detransitioners want to explain why they regret it, I'm actually happy to hear. Send me something.


• Surviving Project 2025 (this is tailored to Americans BUT I suppose this can apply to places where being Trans is more dangerous than usual)
  At the moment I can only add vague ideas to this. I'm sorry but that's all we've got. If you need HRT here you go (archived) - This is if you want greater detail and in video form (If that link doesn't work, try this one). For Americans, I would also suggest a donation of however much you can afford to lose to the ACLU - just to make sure they keep "Democracy" and "Free Speech" in check (at least the ideas of...). I also suggest this resource for looking into anti-trans legislation (this for specificity of what bills are passed where), this source for looking into anti-trans propaganda and this for the preservation of transgender literature. This is also for those who know people who are immigrants or are...get yourself a red card. I've linked a website on how to make one in a lot of applicable languages (AND I've got ANOTHER alternate link if you're unsure). I am also going to leave a space here for the UK; Donate to Mermaids, LGBT Youth Scotland, Switchboard LGBT Helpline, ATK and Stonewall. Also, get yourself a decent VPN! I'd also suggest, if you're one of the thousands of people NOT in the UK or US, check what's available for LGBT but specifically Trans help. I will add what I can here but understand, for every page I make alternate copies of on this website is yet more targets on my back and doing so as someone that would ALREADY be a target if I was born in either of these backward countries...it's scary.

I want to add a little conclusion here. At the moment, and for a few years now, transgender lives have seemingly been under attack. People who think this shit is "a phase" or "trying to be special." Conservatives hate trans people for "destroying the minds of young children" and "being sexual" (if you can "goon" on THIS website, you have issues!), Liberals hate trans people for not being "squeaky clean personalities" or "passable", Fascist dog-whistling is on the rise from both sides of politics, let alone fascism in general and it can be VERY overwhelming. The truth is I don't really have an answer for "where do we go from here?" However if there IS any hope I can give you, it's the following; Fascism never lasts. It MAY have the personality at the head of it doing the "strong man" shit for a while but what that ALWAYS leads to is those with power doing anything they can to backstab their way to even more power. The last few years of WWII was Hitler making really dumb mistakes and many key figures within the Axis powers trying to assassinate him, just so they could "salvage" their side of the conflict - Mussolini was shitting himself on the Swiss border by that point. I refuse to give that man ANY dignity! Another point is Build community whenever and wherever you can, other people ABSOLUTELY will help better than I can. Yes, there is some social anxiety with being trans these days as you JUST DON'T KNOW how people will react but the internet is very much a "violent id" a lot of the time - it MAY seem hard to make those connections but it won't be impossible (this is wherever you are...I acknowledge there ARE countries where a "BE CAREFUL" message cannot be overstated but...your community still exists, even there). The last, which will ABSOLUTELY be the hardest thing to do is...don't let this shit harden your heart. I know it feels like EVERYTHING is against you and hating you for this when all you wanted was to be who you are, but a reason I keep this page up, the reason I wrote this with gender neutral language, is because...you deserve life. You deserve happiness. No one deserves to live sheltered, afraid and alone. And for the record, I have this site archived. In SOME FORM or another, we'll survive.

I'm going to update as I think of more stuff to add.

Back