I've finally decided to write more extensively into this part of the website again. To start with, I'm legitimately just tired as fuck of being scared of a target being put on my back for being who I am. That's how I've lived my entire life up until now.
So being Transgender. This is going to quickly go over a few things that I feel need to be known about being Trans. I'm going to order this from "easiest" to "hardest" just to get things rolling
- Justify Myself
This is for those moments of dysphoria and if you want justification. I'll start by saying that not a LOT of Cis people question their own gender because they have that confidence that "I AM a man" "I AM a woman." However if you need more than that and you ARE questioning that you might be something else or "I WAS trans but now I'm Cis"...its fine if that ends up being who and what you are. Exploration of that kind of stuff IS definitely needed and I'd suggest doing further and proper research into that but there's no shame in changing genders if you so wish (wannabe a Transfem or Transmasc instead of Non-Binary or visa versa? Fine) or having a moment of self doubt only to realize it was temporary.
- Clothes Shopping
I thought I'd go from "hard" to "the fun stuff." To start with, these days there are MANY trans affirming clothing stores that you can buy from. I've linked a couple on my linkpage so I'd suggest those. However for more everyday stuff if you can't afford professionally made clothing with labels...I'd like to remind you there's no ethical consumption under Capitalism so as much as buying clothing made by sweatshops in some South American firetrap might lose "Good Place points", it could help to get you a feel for the kind of clothing you want to wear. Thrifting can also help - both to find clothes for you AND if you manage to buy something that doesn't fit. This also goes for makeup - trial and error and don't be afraid to experiment in order to find your style.
This is for those in unsafe backgrounds. My suggestion is that social media CAN help and if you want to lurk on said sites under a "#transgender", there's nothing wrong with that in order to find information but I'd ALSO suggest regular cleaning of browsing history. Now saying that on THIS site is a bit pointless as if you're here, you're probably either past that or made a major mistake. However if you're safe ENOUGH to have a personal browser and go undetected, try reaching out to other trans people. The whole point of THIS page is so I can help. I'm even using gender neutral language so as to appeal to as many people as possible. I'd also like to suggest going to a therapist who can help with these feelings. I went to mine and was with her for SEVEN YEARS talking about my gender stuff until I actually acted on it (I have...reasons for being afraid which is, again, another reason why I'm making this). I'd also look into gender clinics in the area, do a test on a GP to see how accepting they are of trans people (if you live in a country where you need a referral). Look into ways to meet people in real life that ARE accepting of this. There's a lot of options.
- Coming Out
This one is a hard but important step. Especially if you DO have unsupportive people in your life. I'd start with people who you know will be supportive. People who like trans people. If you're unsure, I'd prod around and ask. If a celebrity you like is trans, talk to them about it. If a friend you have is trans, talk to them about it (by that I mean "talk to people who know your friend" AND "talk to your trans friend" - I mean if there's ONE PERSON who'd actually be supportive, 9 times out of 10, it'll be another trans person). If someone you follow on social media is trans, talk to them about it. Its a simple "prod" to see what they say. I get this might be seen as deception but if you ARE that scared, I'm suggesting this as a way to help. I'd repeat this until you find SOMEONE who reacts in a way that satisfactory (or if you have the luck of finding acceptance on the first go). Then you tell them. I'd also make a list of questions - what surgeries are you going to get? New name? Pronouns? Will you have kids? That kind of thing WILL be asked.
- Name Change
This one is going to be a bit of a wild one as you're going to have to go through a LOT of legal red tape. I don't own a house and I had to change my health insurance, my car insurance, my medicare (yeah, I live in a country that actually CARES about the health of its citizens), the name on my taxes, the name on my payslip, the name on my driver's license, the name on my organ donor card, my bank details, my first suggestion is just make a list. Then look into the legality of what you'll need. For me, I needed 3 bits of Identification all copied and approved by a Justice Of The Peace (in my country they're in public libraries and free) and a filled in form sent in with a payment (mine was $200). I also want to throw out there that if you ARE trying to be stealth, there's nothing wrong with picking a gender neutral name.
I talked previously about getting a referral to a gender clinic. This step can vary depending on where you live. If you're unsure, find one and call them up to ask (if unsafe, google how to alter call logs on your mobile). At this point, if you need to rehearse a meeting, do it. I'd say its natural to feel like there's a weight in said meetings because you're going to be admitting to things that, if you're anything like me, are pretty private to a complete stranger. It wont get easier but I'd say to keep going and see what happens.
I'm going to update as I think of more stuff to add.